After the End
by honorswolf14
Summary: Mark's world has ended. He lost everyone he loved and everything he knows. His whole world seems to be crumbling in front of his eyes. Until one day, he meets Beth. Will Beth help rebuild Mark's life? Slight reference to Marker throughout. Don't like it don't read it. Rated T for the RENT-Ness of it. I don't own RENT or any of its characters. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

March 21st 1994. 1148am Eastern Standard Time.

Mark sat on his dusty couch and wondered how he ended up like this, all alone, with his best friends gone for good.

He didn't need his camera to recall the memories, he remembered them just as vividly. He was afraid of this, he always had. Of being alone. There was no way around it, he knew the people he loved would leave, and he'd be the one to survive. Yet he wouldn't change it for the world.

Angel had been the first one to go, four years ago. Then it was Mimi, about a month after she came back. Collins, six months after. Then it was just him and Roger, fighting against the clock counting down to Roger's demise. Roger...Oh, Roger. Mark couldn't believe that his best friend, was gone forever. It was just a week ago when he finally succumbed to the virus. Mark had been there, Roger was all he had, and Roger only had him. Roger was pale and thin, he lost thirty pounds. His hair, then cut short, was always drenched in sweat. Mark held him as he died, never leaving his side.

He missed the raggedy blonde and his guitar, constantly playing Musetta's Waltz to procrastinate, and searching for the right chord and the right lyrics. By now, he was hunched over and had his head in his hands. He felt like his insides were crumbling, everything he knew was gone.

To feel closer to his friends, he decided to go to where they loved. He still went to Life Support, even though the group constantly changed. He went to the park Mimi used to spend hours at with Roger. He even began taking some classes at NYU, and decided to finally get his degree, where Collins used to teach, even though Collins would've been a 1000 times better teacher than his professors.

But Roger, there was nothing to do to feel close to him other than watching the hundreds of hours of film Mark had gotten of them. He gotten more shots of Roger than of anyone else. Maybe it was cause in the film, he could never truly lose Roger, his best friend. But having only the film made it over, officially. He was alone. And Mark didn't dare to touch his guitar. All of his possessions were in the exact place they were in the day he died. Except for his jacket, which Mark wore occasionally to maybe get a whiff of Roger's now fading scent.

He sat up and wiped the tear stains off of his face. Contemplating calling Maureen and Joanne, he walked over to the phone. But he changed his mind, they were probably busy uptown doing who knows what... Instead, he called Benny. He didn't pick up, which he figured would happen. He let it go to voicemail. "Hello you have reached Benny. Leave your name and number after the beep and I'll get back to you."

He hesitated a moment, choking on his words, unsure as to what he should say. "B-Benny. Hey, look. I know it's been a while and we left on bad terms but everyone else is gone and I'm all alone. It's only me and I really need someone. Please, Benny..." he could feel himself on the verge of a breakdown. He knew, that no matter what, he'd be the one to survive. He'd be the one to have all the ones he loved die. And hey, he wouldn't have traded them for the world.

"Mark loves his work, Mark hides behind his work, Mark lives for his work" Roger once yelled at him out of anger. But that was because he had to capture everything on film because he would be the one to live through everything, and needed to have it for when his 3D IMAX of a mind failed him.

Slowly, he made his way back to the couch, and grabbed Rogers coat off of his chair. He put the jacket on and laid down on the couch. Without the constant presence of his friends, the loft was cold and empty. It used to be so alive in friendship and laughter and fun. The walls were like a tomb now. A tomb he couldn't bare to be trapped in. He began to cry, his sobs and pleas echoing throughout the room. He remembered when Roger was like this, after April died and going through withdrawal and after Mimi died. And Mark had always been there for him, taking the punches and screams and crying. But who was there for Mark now? He just lay there, staring at the walls. If Collins was here, he'd tell him to get off his butt and film something. "There are stories to be captured and history in the making happening right now and you're in here sulking, go out there and get to it!"

Also, he made a promise to Roger. A promise that he would get out of that shit hole neighborhood, go make history, live his life to the fullest, live a life full of memories enough for the both of them. To live the life Roger couldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

March 22nd 1994. 12:34pm Eastern Standard Time.

"SPEEAAK" Mark awoke to his voicemail commanding. He didn't remember what time he fell asleep. He didn't sleep very well, he had nightmares. He'd had them every night since Roger died. He forced himself to get out of bed, thinking it might be Benny that was calling. As he walked into the living room, he realized it was a debt collector. They could never get off his back, he was up to date on all his payments, and they still hunted him down...

Rolling his eyes, he went to get dressed. He put on his red and blue sweater he wore at the life cafe after Maureen's protest so many years ago, a pair of jeans, his brown jacket and of course his scarf. He headed out the door, he hadn't been out in a few days and still had a few hours before Life Support. He ran back in and grabbed his camera and his bag-he couldn't forget those, and ran down the stairs into the streets of New York City. He hadn't been there in a year or so, so he went to Central Park.

He got down to the subway just as the train to Central Park left. He decided to film the people of the subways. He hoped his crappy camera would capture what he saw, people trying to make a living performing in the subway. There was a saxophonist playing some sort of ballad that vaguely reminded him of jazz. Taking his eye away from the lens, he noticed someone walking towards him. He blinked and realized it was a girl with black hair, wearing a Syracuse University hoodie and jeans.

"Hey, are you a film major?" She approached him, smiling. Her eyes lit up in the dark subway.

"No, I used to be about five or six years ago. I dropped out my senior year. I didn't like it, I wanted to shoot my own film." He told her.

"Well I was. I went to SU, as you probably guessed from my hoodie. Graduated last year. The name's Beth," she offered her hand, "and you are?"

"I'm Mark." He introduced himself- taking her hand and shaking it. Just then, he felt the wind of the train approaching. "Where are you headed?"

"Nowhere in particular... You?"

"I was going to kill time at Central Park for a few hours"

"Mind if I join you?"

Eh, why not. They could talk about filming and he wouldn't be alone, which he needed somebody. "Sure, why not?" He smiled at her. She smiled back, and he couldn't help but notice her beauty. She was shorter than him, but only by a few inches or two. Her black hair and blue eyes gleamed in the low light.

They talked the entire time on the train. When they got to Central Park, the first thing Mark saw was a hot dog stand. He looked at it longingly, he left what little money he had at home and he hadn't eaten since yesterday. Beth must've seen this, and he wished she hadn't cause she offered to buy him lunch. He was going to decline before his stomach growled, speaking for him. He just met her and didn't want to inconvenience her. But he needed to eat...

They shared their hotdogs on a park bench facing a pond. He thanked her for the food, and she said he looked like he hadn't seen food in years. Which was sorta true. He told her about how it's been hard, he's had barely any money and it's been hard since, well, his friend left.

"Your friend left you when you were broke? What a dick!" She said.

He looked down, and forced himself to tell her. "He didn't leave me, he died. He had AIDS. Pretty much all of my friends did.. And I always knew I'd be the one to survive, and to eventually be alone, but I loved them. I loved him, his name was Roger, he was the last one to go. He died a week ago.. I couldn't leave them. Even though I would end up like this, with no one and nothing but my camera. That's what I'm filming actually. The homeless with AIDS. I want to document real life..." He said, avoiding her eye and trying to not let his voice break.

She held his hand, which sent shivers and goosebumps up his spine. It seemed the air was filled with electricity. He could feel his cheeks start to blush and he didn't want her to notice, so he looked away. Despite this, he started to cry. He couldn't stop the tears-they just started flowing. He wiped his eyes, and with a heavy heart, smiled at Beth. It must not have been convincing enough because she leaned into him and put her arm around him.

"It's okay to cry" she reassured him. And he did. This was one of the few times the filmmaker had cried in front of someone. And he just met her, but yet, he felt closer to her than he had to anyone else in a long time. Near the end of Roger's shortened life, Mark felt them getting more and more distant. From his best friend friend, who was there for him since they were five, from the man he loved. He did love Roger, yet he never told him his feelings. Maybe it was because he was a coward, or he felt the feelings weren't going to be reciprocated. But whatever the reason, he regretted it.

Gathering himself, he sat up. He could feel where the tears ran down his face. After wiping his eyes and fixing his askew glasses, he checked the time. It was almost 3 o'clock. "I'm going to be late for life support!" He practically announced.

"Life support?" Beth asked quizzically.

"Yeah it's for people with AIDS." He saw her concerned look and added "No, I don't have AIDS, but my friends used to bring me with them when they would go... I don't know why I go anymore to be honest. Do you wanna come with-I mean if you have nothing better to do..." He invited, not wanting to her to leave him.

Surprisingly, she agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

March 22nd, 1994. 525pm Eastern Standard Time.

The meeting was the same as it always had been, just the people kept changing. The group seemed happy as the filmmaker walked in with a girl by his side. They secretly hoped Mark would get a girl so he could have a friend again. She gripped his hand tight when everyone told their stories and how they were doing. He got goosebumps at her touch. But why? They had only just met a few hours ago...

Together, the group cried and then they laughed. There was much sorrow, but equal amounts of rejoicing. But it seemed that no matter what, no one was giving up. No day but today, they always said.

Afterwards, Mark invited Beth over to watch some of his documentary. He hoped his new friend wouldn't leave him. He liked the feeling of company again. He walked her back to his apartment. When he got there, he put his hand into his pocket to grab his keys, but they weren't there.

"SHIT! I forgot my keys! I'm going to have to go up through the fire escape." What a way to ruin the night, scaling the fire escape to get to his loft. What's gotten into him? He never forgets his keys, ever. He was pretty annoyed at himself. He started to climb, and once he reached the second floor, he looked back behind him. Beth was close behind him, climbing up the fire escape. He was going to tell her she didn't have to, she could wait down there for him, but he remembered they were in New York and who knows what could happen in those five minutes. He just smiled down at her and continued on his way.

After what seemed like forever, he finally reached the loft. Opening the window, he climbed in. Taking her hand to help her in, he laughed, "Well what a way to make an entrance... Sorry it's not more spectacular, but this is all I've got.."

"Make yourself at home." He invited. He led her to the couch and began to set up the projector. "It's not quite finished yet but I think you'll like it.." He shrugged. He sat down next to her as the film started to play.

The first thing on screen was a video of him and Roger play fighting. He could hear Mimi laughing in the background. This was from a few years ago but he remembered it like it was yesterday. Next was Collins holding Roger after Mimi passed. Roger was a mess. His hair was a mess, he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and his face was puffy. Even though they never got back together, Mimi and Roger shared a really close bond.

Seeing his old friends again, Mark began to cry for the second time today. Beth put her arm around him to comfort him. "Hey. It's going to be okay. I promise..."

Mark leaned into her and sighed only half believably, "Yeah..I know.."

Soon, the film was over and the two sat in a hushed silence. No one wanted to make a sound or move. By now, Beth was cuddled against Mark who held her with one hand and ran his fingers through her hair with the other. It felt nice to have someone with him again.

The loft had a warmth to it that it hadn't had in years. Mark began taking off his jacket, without taking his eyes off her. He didn't mean to seem sexy, he was just too caught up in looking at her. The moonlight reflected off her black hair and green eyes. It was like nothing he had ever seen. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned up to kiss him.

Somehow, Mark being oblivious to everything, they ended up in his bedroom with his shirt off. They made out some more before Mark, afraid this might be just a one night stand, said he was getting tired. He slept right next to Beth, and cuddled up close.

It seemed everything was going perfectly.


	4. Chapter 4

After the End chapter 4

March 23rd, 1994. 10:32am Eastern Standard Time.

In the morning, Beth had to go with her friends. "They're probably worried sick I didn't come home at all last night. Plus, today we're going to Times Square. I've never been there."

Mark shrugged, he had been to Times Square plenty of times and he didn't like it. Too many crowds, too many tourists. Not his kind of thing. But still, he didn't want her to leave... "Oh.. Okay. Well, have fun!" He slung his camera bag over his shoulder. She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He put his hand gently around her waist.

"I'll be back later. Promise, Marky." And with that, she turned and walked out of the loft. Mark finished gathering his things and made a cup of tea on the hot plate. Today, he was going to go shoot some film over in the other areas of Alphabet City but he would go to the Life Cafe first.

Mark got a few good shots of people on the street trying to make a living on his way to the cafe. The homeless were selling anything and everything. Anything to make a penny.

At the Life Cafe, he got a tea and read the newspaper. He couldn't really focus on the newspaper, his thoughts kept wandering back to last night. She was beautiful, unlike anyone he had seen before. Her pale, smooth skin and hair seemed to gleam in the moonlight. Their bodies fit together perfectly as he held her close. Even though the bed was lumpy, he felt as if he was sleeping on a cloud next to her.

"Would you like another tea, honey?" The waitress asked, pulling him back to reality. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out enough change for one more. This would be his last 50 cents for who knows how long, but it was worth it.

"Yes, please, you know how I like it, right?" The waitress nodded and walked off. He came here often, most times the only thing he orders is a tea. He looked around the cafe, it was peaceful these days, no more dancing Bohemians on the tables. No more singing. Just hushed conversations from the other guests. He missed the days were it could be rambunctious here. It was better then, he wasn't alone. Then, he could be outspoken with his friends, now it seemed as if he was stuck inside his head. Most days he didn't even see the point of getting out of bed.

The waitress came back with his tea, and he gave her the change. He was barely able to take a sip when a hand clapped on his shoulder, making him spill some of the hot drink in his lap.

"Well! If it isn't Marky!" a familiar voice said. He didn't even need to look to know that it was Maureen Johnson, his ex girlfriend and anarchist. "Oh, don't roll your eyes, pookie!" She teased Joanne, then leaned in and kissed her. Mark stood up to wipe the tea of his pants, but was pulled into an awkward hug before he knew it. When Maureen finally let go of him, they say across from him and filled him in on everything that's been going on since they saw each other last. Maureen had got a role in an off Broadway show, and Joanne was quickly becoming an accomplished lawyer. They had moved uptown and things seemed to be going pretty well for them.

"So...Mark..." Maureen chided, "What's going on with you? Got yourself a girl?"

Immediately, Mark felt his cheeks go red. She could've asked anything else, but she had to ask that. He hoped they wouldn't notice.

"OH MY GOD!" She practically squealed. "YOU DO! Pookie, Markys got himself a girl!" Joanne rolled her eyes again. "Pookie... I told you about rolling your eyes... Soooo. Tell us about your girlfriend!" Typical Maureen. Always sticking her nose in people's business, and creating a scene. God, did she have to be so nosy. Under his tan jacket, Mark felt himself start to sweat and he wiped his palms on his jeans.

"She-she's not my girlfriend." Was that true? He didn't know anymore. Anyway, how many people discuss their new girlfriend with their ex-girlfriend? "I barely even know her. We met yesterday, and she was a film major." But he did know one thing about her, she liked him and he liked her. He knew she liked him almost immediately. "I'm just glad I have a friend again. And I'm not alone. I..I miss him..." He looked up. He was surprised Maureen didn't interrupt him, she always did. She just nodded her head. She missed everyone as much as he did.

"Aw, Marky, we'll always be here for you. We're still your friends, yah know.."

"Yeah, but it's not the same without him.."

"I'm sorry, Mark.. I know how much it must hurt.." Joanne comforted him.

Mark finished his tea and began to stand up, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. But before he could leave, his stomach growled.

"Hey, when was the last time you ate? An actual meal. Not just cereal. We'll," Joanne took Maureen's hand, "buy you lunch, sit back down."

"No, no it's okay, you don't have to do that. I don't want to intrude.. Besides I don't have any money to pay you back.." He was really hungry, but he couldn't be in Joanne and Maureen's debt.

"Seriously. We will. And besides, you're all skin and bones. When was the last time you ate?"

It was true he had been losing weight since Roger died. Sometimes he just forgot to eat, other times he couldn't afford it. "I had a hotdog for lunch yesterday."

"Yesterday?! Mark! You gotta eat! Even if it's something small, you still have to eat!"

"Fine, fine, yeah I'll eat with you guys." He sat back down. He was grateful for the food, but he really just wanted to be alone. "And I would eat, I just can't always afford to. I have enough to keep the power on and to not get evicted, beyond that I have very little. But don't worry, I'm putting myself out there for jobs."

He ordered a hamburger and fries with a Pepsi while Joanne had a salad and Maureen had soup. The food was good, it tasted like heaven to the starving filmmaker. It was also much needed. The conversation lulled throughout the meal, random questions with short answers followed by awkward silence. He didn't finish the food so he brought it home for dinner later.

He thanked them, and invited them over. "Hey, you guys can swing by my place if you want."

"We'd love to, but we have plans." Maureen said.

"Oh, okay. That's fine. Anytime you want, just swing by." He said, and walked out of the restaurant.

Everything and everyone was changing, except Mark. He was the constant in an ever-changing world. He was stuck to alphabet city like a streetlight. It was still him and his camera, and it always will be Mark and his camera. Through his camera lens he felt he could capture the world, even if his world was the dark, dirty streets of New York City.


	5. Chapter 5

March 23rd, 1994. 3:16pm Eastern Standard Time.

Mark stopped outside the door to his loft. Whenever he used to come home, he could always hear Roger playing his guitar, searching for his song. The music would fill the air, the chords would speak in a way that only Roger could make them sound. Even the songs Roger played out of boredom or to procrastinate, Mark longed t hear again. He missed the laughter from when Mimi or Collins came over. He had always known he would be the one to survive and be alone, but his friends had given him a lifetime of memories and taught him to live everyday as if it was your last. He loved every moment he spent with them. They always filled the apartment with laughter and joy and love. Now it seemed to be a tomb, cold and empty. What he wouldn't give to have it all back...

He leaned against the door and watched as a tear hit the floor. Picking up his bag, he went inside. The phone began to ring, but not in the mood to talk, he let it go to voicemail. It was Benny.

"Hey.. Mark.." Benny choked, his voice breaking. "We need to talk. Look something-" Mark cut him off. His heart was racing. Benny sounded really upset. He hoped something terrible didn't happen, he didn't know if he'd be able to survive anything else, he was barely surviving as it was.

"Hey, hey, what is it? Is something wrong?"

"It's just, everyone's gone.. We lost everyone. Maureen moved away and everyone else..." He didn't need to finish his sentence for Mark to know what he was talking about.

"Benny.. I miss them too..." Mark couldn't believe Benny was actually being remorseful.

"I should've been nicer... I was a dick to everyone. I got a taste of the better life and I let it go to my head..."

"Look, we can't change what happened in the past..."

"I wish... I'd give everything to have them back.."

"I know, Benny, I know. Sometimes, when I wake up, I think for one second that Roger is in his bed, snoring, and I run in to go wake him up and then halfway down the hall it hits me... And I.. I just want him back..."

Sighing, Mark gathered himself. "Look I'm sorry, I should-I should go" and hung up before Benny could say anything else.

Mark didn't want to feel this grief. He wanted the pain to stop, to go away. Some way, he wished he could make it stop...Just as he had a distraction from it all, something came along and knocked him right back to square one. Mark had promised Roger he would do something with his life. That he wouldn't sit behind his camera escaping reality. But just waking up was proving to be tougher and tougher each day. He felt like a piece of shit.

There was a knock at the door. He jumped, caught off guard. Running over to the door, he opened it and saw it was Beth.

"Beth!" He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Hi Marky!" She laughed.

"So what do you wanna do tonight? We could go out if you want or we can stay in, up to you."

"Would you mind if we stayed in? I've been on my feet all day and I'm tired..."

"Sure! Make yourself at home." As an afterthought he added, "want me to turn on the tv or something?"

He had bought an old TV a few months ago. It was good for background noise, Mark wasn't interested in any of the shows. He turned it on and put it on ABC. A movie was playing. The phone rang, and he went to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Mark?" The voice he recognized as Maureen's.

"Yes?"

"Hey um so I have tickets to the opening night of my show next Tuesday... Do you and your girlfriend wanna come?"

"Yeah, hold on lemme ask her-"

He was cutoff by Maureen.

"SHES THERE? OMG MARKY LEMME TALK TO HER!"

"No, that won't be necessary"

"AWW PLEEASE"

"No, Maureen. I don't think that's a good idea." He turned to Beth, "So my friend is in a musical or something and she has tickets for opening night next Tuesday, wanna go together?"

"I'd love to!" Beth exclaimed.

"Yeah we'll come." He said to Maureen.

"Yay! Can't wait for you to see it I'm so excited!"

"Okay Maureen, well I have to go. See you soon.."

He hung up the phone and walked over to the couch where Beth was sitting. He sat down next to her, and went to go put his arm around her, but drew back. "Can I put my arm around you?"

She laughed. "Of course you can, silly!"

They say there, Mark holding her close, watching the movie. It was some cheesy romantic comedy, and Mark really had no interest in it.

An idea suddenly can into his head. "Hey, wanna go on the roof? And like look at the stars or something?" He stood up, ran to his room to grab his blanket and his jacket, and led her up the stairway to the roof. When they got up there, the sky was clear. The moon shone down on them and there were stars in every direction. The sky was an interesting mix of colors, purple and blue and black. In the distance, he could see the Manhattan skyline gleaming through the night. Below him, he could hear the hum of cars and taxis drove by, on their way to wherever.

He laid the blanket out and say on it, inviting her to lay with him. She laid there, close to him, and he held her. As the temperature dropped, he put his jacket around her, keeping her warm. He ran his fingers through her hair. He couldn't help but look at her, she looked beautiful.


	6. Chapter 6

March 29th, 1994. 5:27pm Eastern Standard Time

Mark walked down the hall to Beth's apartment door. He triple checked the note she gave him to make sure he got the address right. He knocked on the door, his hands shaking. Hearing no noise coming from the other side of the brown door, he went to knock again when the door flung open. A tall, cheery brunette stood face to face with him.

"So! You must be Mark! Beth's told us all about you! I'm Kyerstan, by the way." She was bubbly and full of energy, he wondered how such a reserved person like Beth could stand this much energy.

The apartment was cozy, with only three rooms: 1 kitchen/living room combo, 1 bedroom, and a bathroom. In spite of the lack of space, the three women that lived there made the most of the space. The bookshelf doubled as a TV stand, and the couch pulled out into a futon. Looking around, Mark was about to ask where Beth was before she walked out of the bathroom and Mark did a double take. "Holy shit... You look absolutely stunning, baby.." He took in the sight of her, falling for her even more. She was wearing a floral dress with a jean jacket, with accentuated her already gorgeous figure. The vibrancy of the flowers brought out her blue eyes, and her hair, carefully put in a bun, seemed the shine. He could feel himself starting to blush, a warm feeling in his chest. She walked up to him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Look who's talking, sexy..." She whispered in his ear, surely making his cheeks go bright red. He hugged her tight, pulling her closer by her waist.

"Ugh... Get a room or something.. Seriously, you two are gross." Kyerstan teased, pretending to vomit.

"Well, lets get going then, babe." He let her go and opened the door for her.

At the theater later that evening, the couple ran into Maureen, who was pacing frantically and looked distressed. "Have you guys seen Joanne? She had to work, but she said she'd be here a half hour ago… and she hasn't called...I'm getting worried..."

"No, sorry. Shes probably just running late I'm sure she'll be here soon." Mark reassured Maureen.

Just then the house lights went out and then immediately turned back on, signaling that the show was going to start soon. The couple found their seats in the balcony through the assistance of an usher. Everyone in the audience was excited for the show to start, it was supposed to be amazing. The themes were "ground-breaking" and "edgy", according to a review in a local newspaper. Conversations floated among the various members of the audience, but immediately as the lights dimmed, they were extinguished. Everyone sat in a hushed excitement, eager for the show to start. Beth placed her hand around Mark's and rested her head on his shoulder.

However, behind the scenes, things weren't going so well. Joanne still hadn't showed up, and Maureen was more nervous than ever. But she had no time to dwell on this, she had a performance. The show must go on, as they say.


	7. Chapter 7

April 3rd, 1994. 4pm Eastern Standard Time.

Mark, dressed in all black, walked through the door of the chapel. The air was solemn, an eerie silence that comes from mourning. Being in the middle of the AIDS epidemic, Mark should be used to attending funerals by now. What a funny thing to feel like you should be used to-death. Despite the numerous funerals he's attended over the years, they never got any easier to come to terms with. In fact the opposite was true. With each one came the realization the life is fragile, and the selfish feeling for living when someone has unfairly had their life cut short. Faces of artists and musicians and mothers and fathers, all people living great lives, with families and friends whom they left behind, flashed in his mind. All people who had a dream to leave their mark on the world. Some did, others didn't. With each death of a friend, more and more pieces of Mark's heart broke away. He felt as if the whole world should feel the pain of their absence, but the world got on fine without them, barely noticing they're gone.

Mark stood in the back of the church, with family and friends standing all around him, crying. He held himself together, knowing if he started to cry he wouldn't be able to stop. No one really noticed him standing there, and he didn't mind. He wanted them to have their moment of remembrance, and he had his. Up in the front next to the casket, people placed flowers. Their vibrant colors seemed so ironically _alive._

Mark remembered it in great detail. Getting the call, learning about the car accident, spending the night in the cold dark hospital, only to be woken up by the doctor saying "She's gone..." It wasn't fair, how quickly it happened. She was in a coma when they brought her in, her vitals were low. They rushed her in for emergency surgery, to no avail. She passed away on the operating table without a chance to say goodbye to her.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Joanne Jefferson…" The Pastor spoke up, and the room went immediately silent. Mark's eyes scanned the room, searching for Maureen. She was sitting in the front, next to Joanne's parents. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and she shook with every move. She looked like absolute hell. It hurt Mark to look at her and see the trauma she's been going through, and knowing there was nothing he could do to help. Normally so full of life and energy, she now looked like an empty shell, numb to any emotion other than grief.

After the service, Mark went back to his apartment. The others had gone out to a restaurant to eat, but he just wanted to be alone. Having held in his emotions for the funeral, he needed to cry. Barely through the door to the loft, the filmmaker collapsed, tears streaming down his face. He called out to no one in particular. "Its not fair!" Memories of all those he's lost flashed in his mind. The kind, yet fierce smile of Angel, a young Latina sitting on Roger's lap-both grinning, the kind eyes of a genius who had lost so much yet still kept going with his head held high, an intimidating woman at the top of her field, yet who was the most loyal and caring people he knew. A young handsome guitarist, on the stage singing and playing his heart out turned into a pale man in his thirties, in a hospital bed, dying. A seemingly normal cold had turned out to be what killed him, what finally overtook his immune system. He should be in his prime, but instead he was buried six feet under. He had a slow, agonizing death. Mark was there for him through it all. He spent weeks in the hospital, sleeping in the chair at the bedside, hearing him moan in pain. Mark held him, wiping the sweat of his forehead and comforting the dying man in his final moments. Roger passed away in Mark's arms. His skin was still warm when the doctors came and took him away. Mark remembered standing there, feeling as if his whole world had just ended. And it had. And now, laying here on the cold floor of the loft, Mark's world was continuing to crumble all around him. He was one step closer to being alone.


End file.
